Where I’ve been wrong

Posted on 2 min read 74 views

I have been searching and praying for answers to the mysteries of life and death, of heaven, and of love. I have yearned more to be in heaven than ever before, and I have questioned God on the direction of my life. And I have been wrong.

Simply put, God wants me to love him more than anything or anyone else, either here or in heaven. Yes, I love Jeseca; I always will. But she cannot be my reason for living or holding on. Jesus holds that role, and he wants me to let go of the struggle within my heart, and the search for answers. He wants me to live and glorify him through the ups and through the downs. He wants me to live because he loves me and has more in store for my life than I could ever imagine.

Is it too quick to come to that conclusion? No, it’s not. I poured all of me into Jeseca, and for that I hope God is pleased. What comes of that love in heaven is entirely up to God, and I hope that when I see him (and her again) I don’t start smelling like smoke. In the meantime, God, in his great mercy and grace has been patiently waiting for me to get up and start walking with him again. Okay, Lord, here I come. Thank you for allowing me to grieve, and for the courage to carry on.

From his career in professional baseball to an attempt at professional golf and the tragic loss of his wife, Jon Graves is on the journey of his life.
Love always.
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2 Comments
  • Janie
    October 14, 2007

    Amen and PTL. You were an honorable and loving husband to Jes and God now wants you to live on, loving Him first and foremost (as you now realize.)It’s going to be fine…it’s going to be sweet. God will honor your love and care for Jes and bless your life further beyond our understanding and imagination.

    I love you. Thank you for sharing your heart with all of us so we can grow also.

    Mom

  • Sarah
    October 18, 2007

    Isnt it amazing that really we are here souly for HIM and HIM alone. As hard as that is to grasp sometimes, its like He has to take us to the end of ourselves. To realize that its Him that we need. That its Him that makes us go on and to enjoy life again tho our hearts are aching… Its HIM that brings us that great peace and that knowing HE IS ALL WE NEED. Life is a struggle and its tough and heart breaking. But when we get to that place where its you and me Lord through it all, it seems then we truely start to live.. God is so patient and so gracious to us to allow us to grieve and to whine and then He knows when its time to grow us up into what He has for us… Thank you Jesus you are so gracious to us.. And thank you Jesus that you do care for the deepest parts of our hearts. And thank you that you are the one that is in control of all things and you know what is best for us. Even if what it is might sting.. We cling to you. And now help us to live each day freely in you. Love you Lord.
    Love you Jon…

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