I heard Daughtry’s new album yesterday. I know it’s not out yet, but through Rhapsody I was able to listen to it a week before its release. I like Daughtry for some reason, and this album’s pretty good. One of the most touching songs is called Tennessee Line. It starts with, “I opened my lungs to breathe in forgiveness and love…” What a great beginning……
I’ve begun thinking about love again. I’ve thought about it before, but as I approach two years without Jeseca I’m beginning to appreciate how profound love actually is. That may seem weird since I fulfilled my vow to stand by her side for the rest of her life. I guess I’ve only just begun to understand the depth and courage it took, and takes today, to say Yes to someone and promise that, through thick and thin, you’ll be there to see him or her through.
I think love starts all of us on our journeys, anyway. Your first car, first job, first bank account, first trip…none of those work when it comes to our hearts. Love makes our blood rush and our hearts pound, and gives us that unique sense of purpose that comes with knowing that someone cares so much about you that nothing would keep them from standing next to you on your darkest day. Isn’t that what we all want?
When you have it and it’s suddenly taken from you, whether through death or divorce, life as you know it changes drastically, too. Love is gone, and life means something new entirely. It becomes about survival. It becomes about the task at hand. It becomes about your job, your money, your car, your trips, your whatever… Love is gone, so what else is there?
I get it. Trust me, I never took the time to really ponder how special it was to have someone by my side through all of the bad days. Life was running fast and I was keeping up. If you’re married, don’t do that. Don’t keep up. Look at your wife or husband and know that you are one of the lucky ones who found that person who promised his or her life to you because they love you. They chose you. Spin it all you want, but that’s phenomenal.
See, what’s most amazing about love, genuine love that puts another person above yourself, is that it’s not about you at all. Yes, we want to hear that we are loved. We want to feel it coming back before we jump. But if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t love someone after hearing them say they love you. You either love them or you don’t. And that’s why meeting someone who will love you back, someone who chooses to stand by your side through the ups and downs of this life, is an absolute miracle in a world polluted with the search for money and sex.
As 1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it is not proud. It’s not rude, it’s not self-seeking, it’s not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”
I want that chance again; the chance to love someone better and stronger than I’ve ever loved before. I know I’ll blow it. But I will relish showing someone again that I can be better and stronger and gentler and funnier and happier every day we’re together.
Ahh, the perspective of a hopelessly romantic widower…just what you needed, right? Think about it. It’s pretty special to have someone say they love you, isn’t it?