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Time for a change

It’s been a long time since I’ve written, and I’ve missed it. I’ve made myself busy; I’ve spent time on other things and with other people. But now I want to come back here and begin a different journey. I want to explore what it is to be a man. A real man. I don’t like the word authentic…I think it’s too cliche today. But I’m driven to become the man I’m supposed to be, and perhaps even take some men with me along the way.

I’ve spent the past 2+ years trying to become a better man than I was in my two previous lives (as a baseball player and when I was married). I’ve become a P90X fanatic. I’ve learned how to cook nearly everything you want to eat. I’ve broadened my interests in music and movies, and even done some interior decorating to make our condo feel tranquil for the three of us. I’ve put myself on video for the world to see and entertained the idea of a reality TV show with five different production studios.

I’ve met incredible, beautiful women, grown my hair out as long as I could stand it, and spoken to 500+ athletes about what it is to trust God in the middle of what seems to be a nightmare. I’ve thought about one day becoming the President of the United States, writing a best seller, and/or chasing the impossible dream of playing on the PGA Tour.

But what matters most to me are the two young men living at home with me. Do they know what it takes to be a man? Having lost their mom at such young ages, have they seen in me the courage and faith required to make it through the toughest challenges with grace? Time will tell, right?

That’s where I want to go now. I want to show them how to be the best men they can be. To be honest at all costs. To be chivalrous. To reach beyond their own grasp on faith, and trust that God will raise them up when the time is right. To never give up. To honor women. And to be courageous when they’re scared.

So what makes a man a man? That’s what I want to teach them. And that’s where this site may turn to next.

From his career in professional baseball to an attempt at professional golf and the tragic loss of his wife, Jon Graves is on the journey of his life.
Treasure your family. Love your friends. Find your purpose. And have more fun!
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2 Responses
  • Janie
    December 8, 2009

    Bravo!…you've described the important things in this life, haven't you? I do hope more men understand this as you continue to write on the topic.

    Change is an interesting thing. It can be overwhelming, and also exhilerating. It may begin in an unprepared instant, or from a time of reflection. It can be physical, emotional and/or spirital in nature. And as it sometimes takes life (as in your case losing Jes) it also gives new life. The Word says "To everything there is a season. A time for every purpose in heaven." (Ecc. 3:1-8) And it is all good; for the Word also says, "All things happen for good to those that love the Lord." It creates growth even if it is difficult to accept at the time.

    The "Change" you are talking about is far more important than what most people think of. It is becoming a role model, a mentor, a man of God's integrity to enrich the lives of others in what really matters on this earth; in this life. What more important responsibility does a father have than to be a spiritual role model and mentor of his children; or the spiritual leader of the household as God planned it. You definitely understand that role and I admire you for it.

    Change…something we hopefully learn from, grow through with God's grace, and reap with abundant benefits from the Lord as we trust Him to bring about change in our lives.

    I look forward to reading about your change…as I continue to go through my own. 🙂 Son, I've always said you have a gift in writing that is annointed of God. Keep it up. It blesses many. (and keeps me in touch)

    Blessings, much love, and hugs to those crazies!
    Mom

  • Dan Adams
    November 18, 2013

    Jon,

    I lost my wife on April 8 to breast cancer. I was by her side for the past year of radiation and chemotherapy treatments, that in the end were not going to make any difference.

    I watched your videos on Youtube, and have to thank you for your talks about how to move on after losing my best friend, soulmate and wife.

    I am still amazed at how strong and courageous she was, and what strength she had in the last couple of months in her faith in God. She would tell anyone that visited that "she was in a good place and ready for what happens". She also told me to have no regrets, and to live life going forward in my "new normal".

    The main item that has stuck with me was her comment during one of the many talks we had during her home Hospice care. She told me, "It is not how live I live, but what I have done while I'm alive".

    Your videos reminded me of that comment, and made me realize that I will always have a hole in my heart for her love, but that I do need to move on and do God's plan.

    I do not know at this point what that plan is, but I came to a realization thtat I cannot continue to ask God, but ask myself what it is that I will do with the rest of my life. And it will be what she would have wanted for me.

    Dan

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