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Questions

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A few posts ago, I mentioned that I didn’t know if Jes will make it to our 11th anniversary. While I plan to speak with our oncologist this week to discuss the latest development, that date is still in question.

Based on everything we see, and all that she is experiencing, she is now in a state of cancer cachexia. If you’re interested, here are the details. I’ve read quite a bit about it at this point; none of it is encouraging. Essentially, her body is wasting away, and I hate it. We’re looking for homeopathic solutions to help her maintain any amount of nutrition, but it’s such a challenge for her to eat anything of real substance.

Our hope is that she will be able to put some weight back on, but as Jes has asked, will this just delay what God will do? I don’t know anymore. When it seems like it can’t get any worse, something else pops up to complicate things. I feel as if we’re putting scotch tape on a dam that’s about to break.

How long can she go on like this? Have we made any mistakes? Was there something we missed? Some other effort we should have made? Those are the questions we’re dealing with right now, and honestly, I don’t know that we have any good answers. We’re just trying to survive, one day at a time.

… … … … (long, long delay)

So here I sit. It’s 1:23 a.m. and after all of the thoughts and concerns and questions above, somehow God has brought me back to understanding that He knows how this turns out, and that taking up His “yoke” is a lot easier than shouldering everything on my own. What more can I say?

Now I’m smiling. Amazing.

There it is. We will never give up. And we will never stop hoping and believing that what we see is only a portion, a slice of the reality God has yet to reveal to us. The rest is up to Him. (I bet there are chariots of fire on the mountain right now.) JG

From his career in professional baseball to an attempt at professional golf and the tragic loss of his wife, Jon Graves is on the journey of his life.
Treasure your family. Love your friends. Find your purpose. And have more fun!
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9 Responses
  • Anonymous
    May 29, 2007

    Jon, I was recently told by a good friend at Karate about your web page. I never knew the whole incrediable story. You, Jessica, Everan and Christian are an incrediable family. My prayers are with you, as is my support for anything help you may need. I hope to see at Karate and our boys can play. Tom

  • georgia wright
    May 29, 2007

    I will be praying every single nite. And I will be on my knees for a very long time on June 9th.I have passed the link to your video on thru my my space as well in an email. I have asked people to watch pray and repost. May God heal Jeseca,and keep you strong during this time.
    Oh I tried to click your link to sign up for updates but it isn’t working right.

  • Anonymous
    May 29, 2007

    Jon,

    We spoke of this this afternoon and prayed with Mary at the Mexican place. It’s so hard to imagine the Lord would bring you this far fighting this horrible disease, and then not heal/cure Jeseca. Whatever He decides, and no matter how painful it might be, I am moved by the peace and confidence you both express in His will. I love you. Pop

  • Marjie Almeter
    May 29, 2007

    Hi Jon,
    I received an email from my sister about Jesica. My sister said that you all used to go to her church. My thoughts and prayers will continually be with you and your family. I will join you in praying as well on June 9th “Your Anniversary”, for our Lord to heal Jesica.

    My love goes out to you and your family.

  • Meggo
    June 11, 2007

    I don’t know you my brother showed me your blog. I will be praying for you and your family. My aunt recently was diagnosed with cancer in the late stages and God amazingly healed her. He is an awesome God that has healing powers. Don’t give up praying and know that His hand is in all of this as hard as it seems. God bless.

  • Anonymous
    June 11, 2007

    Jon and your Sons,
    I’m asking God to lift up Jes in prayer of healing and for her to surrender all her pain and discomfort to him, Our Saviour. I also pray for strength for Jes’ whole Family to carry through Our Lords plan.
    God Bless you,

  • Maura
    June 11, 2007

    Dear Jon & Jeseca,

    I just was emailed a link to your UTUBE video by our church prayer team chair. I looked also at your blog and who you are. I was deeply moved to pray with tears running down my face.

    May God bless you and your family at this time. I, too, have a family memeber who is struggling with this horrible disease, my Uncle George Landess of Baton Rouge, LA. My encouragement to you is to worship God and glorify Him. May Jeseca be restored to you Jon, like Isaac was restored to Abraham.

    You are two people of GREAT FAITH and YOU BOTH are my heroes! You are in my heart, thoughts and prayers.

    Maura Foret, Lafayette, LA.

  • Janie Graves
    June 11, 2007

    Of all the questions we may have, we may never have the answers until we are one day with the Lord in Heaven. All we can believe in is that God is in control. I think of Joel Olstein’s teaching that we may have many questions, “Why has this happened? Why?…What do we do now?” and yet we sometimes are never meant to have the answer. All we can say is that our God loves us and He has a plan. Our answer to the unknown is always, “I don’t know, but I do know the One who does.”

    So we trust, obey and wait upon the Lord to do His work. I know that is where your and Jes’ hearts are right now. Mine too. I know you are resting in His plan…and we know He’s never made a mistake.

    “As for God, His way is perfect.” (2 Sam. 22:31)
    I love you both so very much.

  • Anonymous
    June 11, 2007

    Jon, my name is Ann and Pat Craig first informed us on the 1 Accord Message Board about your request for us to pray for Jess. Not everyone on the board are cancer survivors, or even had cancer, but we have friends/relatives who have walked this path. When I read your last post, I felt I needed to respond. I was an R.N. for 39 yrs, and worked as a Hospice Nurse for almost 2 yrs. My advice is to have Hospice come in as I believe you will find them extremely helpful. They can help with Jess’s pain control, provide any durable medical equipment she may need, such as oxygen, a hospital bed, etc. They will have a Social Worker who will be of assistance to the entire family. I will be very upfront with you. Jess’s loss of appetite is one of the first signs of the body starting to shut down. I would suggest really cold Ensure for her to sip on, and it really does taste good as I tried it when I worked for Hospice:} I wanted to be able to truthfully be able to tell our clients that it really did taste good, and it does provide nutrition. Something else that seems to help someone’s appetite was spicy foods, when their appetite waned. However, with the tumor in Jess’s throat, this may not be possible. The faith and trust the two of you show in God is wonderful to read about. Believe me, I’ve heard that Word of Faith teaching that you’re not healed because your faith isn’t strong enough, or you have hidden sin in your life. What a crock! God is God and He’s sovereign, and will do as He pleases. My faith and trust is in Him and I know He has a plan for each of us. I don’t know why things happen like they do. My late sister-in-law battled breast cancer for about 2 yrs., yet my late Mother had a mastectomy for breast cancer and no further treatment as she had Alzheimer’s and treatment would have been difficult. Mother lived for over 10 yrs after her surgery and died from end-stage Alheimer’s. However, I have seen cases where God has healed someone who was almost at death’s door. You may have seen his story on the 700 Club several years ago. He’s a doctor, and had rapidly spreading cancer, and had a video of his body and all the huge masses of tumors all over his body. He was prepared for whatever God had planned for him, either going home to be with the Lord or being healed. God chose to heal him, and I don’t know why God chooses to heal some and not others. However, my faith and trust remain in God and my prayers are always for His perfect will to be done. I had to do that when our youngest daughter had an extremely premature son in January, 2005. As hard as it was, I prayed that prayer, and left Tristan in God’s hands. He performed many miracles in Tristan’s life, and he’s a lively 2 yr old now, with none of the really bad things that can develop in preemies. He was at 24 wks gestation and weighed 1 lb 1 oz when he was born and spent 8 months in the NICU at UTMB Medical Center in Galveston, Texas. The scripture I hung onto was to walk by faith, not by sight. And God was faithful to give me 4 confirmations that Tristan would be fine. You can be sure that the others on the 1 Accord board will be praying for all of you, and Pat is sending out emails when you post a new message. May God continue to surround you both with His peace, comfort, and strength.
    God bless you both, and your sons!
    Ann Odom
    texasmimi247@sbcglobal.net

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