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Love never fails

I heard Daughtry’s new album yesterday. I know it’s not out yet, but through Rhapsody I was able to listen to it a week before its release. I like Daughtry for some reason, and this album’s pretty good. One of the most touching songs is called Tennessee Line. It starts with, “I opened my lungs to breathe in forgiveness and love…” What a great beginning……

I’ve begun thinking about love again. I’ve thought about it before, but as I approach two years without Jeseca I’m beginning to appreciate how profound love actually is. That may seem weird since I fulfilled my vow to stand by her side for the rest of her life. I guess I’ve only just begun to understand the depth and courage it took, and takes today, to say Yes to someone and promise that, through thick and thin, you’ll be there to see him or her through.

I think love starts all of us on our journeys, anyway. Your first car, first job, first bank account, first trip…none of those work when it comes to our hearts. Love makes our blood rush and our hearts pound, and gives us that unique sense of purpose that comes with knowing that someone cares so much about you that nothing would keep them from standing next to you on your darkest day. Isn’t that what we all want?

When you have it and it’s suddenly taken from you, whether through death or divorce, life as you know it changes drastically, too. Love is gone, and life means something new entirely. It becomes about survival. It becomes about the task at hand. It becomes about your job, your money, your car, your trips, your whatever… Love is gone, so what else is there?

I get it. Trust me, I never took the time to really ponder how special it was to have someone by my side through all of the bad days. Life was running fast and I was keeping up. If you’re married, don’t do that. Don’t keep up. Look at your wife or husband and know that you are one of the lucky ones who found that person who promised his or her life to you because they love you. They chose you. Spin it all you want, but that’s phenomenal.

See, what’s most amazing about love, genuine love that puts another person above yourself, is that it’s not about you at all. Yes, we want to hear that we are loved. We want to feel it coming back before we jump. But if you’re honest with yourself, you don’t love someone after hearing them say they love you. You either love them or you don’t. And that’s why meeting someone who will love you back, someone who chooses to stand by your side through the ups and downs of this life, is an absolute miracle in a world polluted with the search for money and sex.

As 1 Corinthians 13 says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It doesn’t envy, it doesn’t boast, it is not proud. It’s not rude, it’s not self-seeking, it’s not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love doesn’t delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres. Love never fails.”

I want that chance again; the chance to love someone better and stronger than I’ve ever loved before. I know I’ll blow it. But I will relish showing someone again that I can be better and stronger and gentler and funnier and happier every day we’re together.

Ahh, the perspective of a hopelessly romantic widower…just what you needed, right? Think about it. It’s pretty special to have someone say they love you, isn’t it?

From his career in professional baseball to an attempt at professional golf and the tragic loss of his wife, Jon Graves is on the journey of his life.
Treasure your family. Love your friends. Find your purpose. And have more fun!
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5 Responses
  • Gina Dayton
    July 11, 2009

    It's very special

  • bluetaterbaby
    July 13, 2009

    My prayers are with you and the boys that God will send that special someone to share your lives while bringing joy and blessing beyond measure.

    God bless,
    Joan

  • Janie
    July 17, 2009

    Ah yes…it is so true. Love is an amazing attribute God placed in all our hearts. He is love, and He lives in us. He created that incredible ability to give our love to someone else in trust and faith that takes you beyond imagination if it is nurtured and protected with Him alongside.

    Whether love is lost by death, or divorce it is a commodity that should not be taken for granted.

    I'll never forget what I heard in a James Dobson teaching series on marriage and relationships. He said, "if you have had a good marriage and it ends (usually from death), you desire that relationship again." Sometimes it happens quickly, but should be sought after with faith, prayer and trust.

    He went on to say, "If you have had a bad marriage experience that ends in divorce, you are not so quick to do it again…that bitter taste is still strong. But when you've healed from the hurts through God's Grace and Mercy, you eventually do want to love someone again. But do it right the next time. That can only be through the Lord, and in His ways, not the world's. God will give you that opportunity to do it as He originally planned."

    As you know, for years I've been content to be alone. But I admit to my desire to love someone again since God has healed my heart. He has given me a heart of love, and I am to share it wtih someone. It takes tremendous trust but I want it again too.

    True love is all about the other person. Just as Jesus loved us and unsacrafically gave his life for us. How amazing. His role model cannot be outdone.

    One day He will bring the perfect helpmeet to you … the one he has been already preparing for you, and you for her. What a joyous day that will be once again for you to be able to share His amazing love with this special someone and your precious children.

    He is the One that we praise and adore. The One who brings healing, grace and love that our hearts always hunger for. He's been orchestrating it from the beginning. He will finish it.

    my love and support always,
    Mom

  • Shan
    July 17, 2009

    Hey Jon – okay you've got me peeking at your blog again 🙂 But I'm glad I did because I really can relate to this post! I've entered that world of dating and it is uhmmm – hectic/scary! It's a whole different ballgame for someone who has lost a spouse! But I do believe it is all in God's hands and what is meant to be will BE 🙂 And by the way – I can see where you get your writing talent! I love your Mom's comment – maybe she should start a blog – very encouraging!

  • Anonymous
    November 18, 2013

    Jon,
    How will you know you are ready for that new love? What actions will you take? How will you show her that even though you had a wonderful marriage, that you will love, cherish, and honor her in the manner that a man should honor a woman?

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